Monthly Archives: May 2013

The Travailing

Dear Readers,

     Do you consider travailing a gift?  I was told it is…


     THE TRAVAILING   Journal Entry-  Summer 2002


     "To travail"- Webster’s dictionary says, "A physical or mental exertion or piece of work."  I was told it’s a gift.  It’s not a gift I enjoy.  Emotionally I get drained and I’m not convinced deep inside, that anything gets accomplished except an exhausted body with a headache.  A shrink who doesn’t believe in the power of the Holy Spirit might say I am suffering from depression when it happens, but I know how content I am with my life. 

     When I travail, I all of a sudden get heavy thoughts of suffering children (especially abortions) or adults, and can’t stop weeping for them.  I’ll get a vision of a child struggling to breathe, or in a lot of pain and I’ll drop to my knees and jump into my prayer language.  It has been explained to me that this special language is, "Direct conversation between the Holy Spirit and God the Father in heaven."  Pretty heavy material I’m discussing here, but I’ve been involved for many years now, so it has become second nature to me.

      I remember years ago, when spiritual events first started happening to me, how frightened I would get.  After all, I had not experienced a living God before!  I only knew a God out of a big black book written thousands of years ago.  After a few miracles took place in my life, the fear subsided.  I discovered that, the Lord is on my side and I don’t have to be afraid of Him in Holy Spirit form.

     Then one day a strange event took place inside of me.  I determined that if I released myself to prayer, God would use my body to pray for others.  He knows all, we do not.  When I get these urgings, even though I have no idea what I am praying about in my prayer language, I could potentially, through the Holy Spirit, be stopping a tragedy from happening somewhere in the world.  Cool huh! 

     There are some occasions when the Lord graciously will share with me what I was praying for, but most times I never find out.  The important part is to stay available to the Holy Spirit for use.  Kind of like the family car.  It’s there in a split second when you need to go, but you don’t notice it sitting in the yard, until you have to get somewhere.

     There is a youngster in our city by the name of Audrey Santo.  She is stirring up quite a lot of conversation.  Perhaps you have seen the stories on the news about her.  When she was three years old she drowned and was revived, but remained in a coma.  Now, in her teens, Miss Santo has been comatose for many years.  But, the amazing thing about her is that her eyes are open and she is awake, but she can only lay in her bed on a feeding tube.  Travailing is a gift Audrey has.  She weeps, has pain, gets unknown rashes, and more.  But, unlike me, a part-timer at this gift, it has become her comatose lifetime career. 

     A few years back miracles started happening all around her.  Healings, crying statues, unexplained bleeding, and much more.  Word of this brought people flocking to her bedside.  From all over the world clergy and lay persons appeared, just to observe and pray and try to get closer to God through young Audrey.

     My theory is that she is in prayer 24-7, and God is honoring these prayers and giving all kinds of signs, showing people that He is there close by.  The church tries to explain away this phenomenon, but the marvels keep happening.  Her parents continually pray hoping for a miracle of healing for her, but I don’t think that will ever happen.  She is being used, by God, in a very powerful ministry.  I think Audrey hears everything going on around her.  Since she is awake but can’t move, she does the only thing she can do, which is communicate with God all day long.  And whoosh, God appears and leaves His calling cards all over her house.

     If only people would realize this very same God is available to them and they can go direct.  But instead they flock to special cases like Miss Santo, who do realize this, and believe without doubt.  I have to admit, even I found myself over kneeling on Audrey’s front door steps with a prayer list in my hands rationalizing, "I can use all the help I can get, Lord!"


                                   Love in Christ,  Claire  xoxo

Acts 19:11, "God did extraordinary miracles through Paul, so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick and their illnesses were cured, and the evil spirits left them."  (NIV) 


P.S.  Audrey Santo finally passed away on April 14, 2007 at the age of 23.  You can still see her on utube.  Type in "Audrey Santo in Worcester, Massachusetts." 


The Lesson

Dear Readers,

     Believe this story or not, it’s up to you.  It happened 20 years ago…




     I am a runner!  The Lord inspires me greatly when I’m out there.  One day while jogging along I looked down, and on the side of the road sat a five dollar bill.  I picked it up and tucked it into a safe place and finished my run, staring at the ground for the next few miles looking for more.  When I finally reached home and changed my clothes, the five dollar bill was nowhere to be found.  I was so irritated that I returned to the windy four-mile stretch of highway and searched until my eyes and neck were numb. 

      "There’s a lesson in this," I thought I heard the Lord tell me as I hunted the highway.  Several days later, while running again, God decided to enlighten me…

     I had been torturing myself about a major decision I must make at my work place.  I had pro and conned myself to death over this decision, but what it all boiled down to was, "Should I take an open position to assure my future advancement in the company, or should I stay at my present position?"  I have believed from day one that my career was a gift.  God provided for my needs when the job market was horrendous. 

     Now, back to the five dollars, also a gift from God.  I recognized this gift immediately because the odds of me finding money at that moment along the busy stretch of route 56, were very slim.  But, did I thank God?  No!  I spent the rest of my run searching the ground for more, staring at every inch of earth for miles.  Not being content with the gift He just gave me, but wanting more!  I overlooked that what the Lord gives, He can also take away.  And, He did!  Through my greed I lost the original gift and forgot, "He provides for all my needs," not me. 

     This new position at work would require a slight pay cut for the first year, worse hours, Sunday work for awhile, more risk, less family time, and working every holiday.  I would also lose my accumulated pension time and my seniority if I made this move.  My family was against the change, but all I could see was the eventual chance to be a dispatcher.

     My income now is adequate but there is no money for emergencies or extras.  This worries me.  But, if I remember that the Lord provides and not me, than I’ll stay where I am.  I have been over and over this and asked the Father to please help me not to make a mistake. 

     With the $5, He showed me that He can give and take away gifts in a split second.  He showed me that He is in control of my finances, and I must not panic, or lose faith or get greedy because, "HE PROVIDES FOR ME!"  




     The deciding factor in my final decision was that I prayed and the Lord reminded me, when I was first training for this job, as I  entered the building and looked up to my left and saw the dispatch office, I noticed the room was glowing, like a halo was around it, and at that moment I heard, "That room is going to be yours!"  So, I chose to take the new bus routes (city side, not rural side of the company), which positioned me for the next opening to come in the dispatch office.  Within two years an opening came, and I got it, just like the Holy Spirit told me that it would be mine.

     2Cor. 5:7 says, "We live by faith, not by sight." (NIV)


                                       Love in Christ,  Claire  xoxo


     P.S.  I probably shouldn’t mention this part, but it shows how powerful our God really is.  As the company was working their way down the list of applicants for a new dispatcher, they deliberately went past my name and interviewed the man below me in seniority.  I know this for a fact, because he came to me and told me while I was waiting for my turn to be called.  (They didn’t consider me a candidate).  But, that bus driver refused to train until the WRTA (Worcester Regional Transit Authority) gave me a chance to prove myself, which I did, and so I became the first full-time woman dispatcher.

     God already knew this was going to happen!  Our God is an awesome God!