The Twofer

Dear Readers,

     How do I shorten this and tell it so profoundly?  I’ll just have to begin at the beginning…


     The Twofer-  Journal Entry 2-13-2013

     Monday morning I arrived at my volunteer job and as usual I prayed entering the hospital, "Lord, if there is some special thing You want me to do today, show me, and then give me the courage and the words to do it, amen."

     I did my routine rounds visiting all the patients, but when I reached ICU, I dropped the ball.  An elderly woman, all alone, frightened and in pain, told me, "I think it’s my time to die, and I’m either going to heaven or hell, I don’t know which!"

     I stopped in my tracks and said, "You don’t know where you are going?"

     "No, I don’t," she repeated.

     That was the perfect time to ask her if she wanted me to pray with her, but I didn’t.  I ignored my signal from God.  The very sign I look for from Him, and I didn’t pick up on it.  I just stood there and continued my spiel about magazines, books, and sundries, asking if she needed anything.  She lay there wondering if she was going to heaven or hell and I returned no comfort to this aging, very ill senior, when I had specifically asked God to point out needs for me to act upon.  It went right over my head.

     I finished my work and headed home, fatigued this particular Monday morning and wanting to get home quickly for lunch.  But, about a mile from home the patient came back powerfully into my thoughts, and I suddenly realized how desperately she needed prayer.  "Should I go back to the hospital?" I wondered, "No, it’s too late, and I’m tired.  I’m going home to relax!"  The hospital was full that day and I was exhausted from serving all those patients.

     At home, I sat down to lunch and the devil started right in on me, "You messed up!  You aren’t worthy of any gifts from God!  Just because you ask, and study about what God wants from us, it doesn’t matter!  You lost your chance to pray with that soul!  You were probably her last chance at getting saved!"… and on and on and on, he hammered failure into my mind.

     Monday afternoon I fell to my knees apologizing to the Lord for my misdeed and begged Him to send her someone else to pray with her.  I couldn’t imagine my loving God letting her go, just because I messed up.

     Tuesday came and I still couldn’t shake the feeling of failure.  I got all my housework and laundry done and my hubby ran errands all day.  I prayed a lot, hoping to please God and again begged Him to send a prayer warrior to this elderly woman whose name I didn’t even know, and who probably went home, or to a nursing home by now.  They don’t keep patients in ICU for long before  passing them to the next step.  I almost never see any patient twice in my volunteer job.

     The devil continued to haunt me about this failure all day Tuesday and into the night.  Finally, Wednesday morning I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me.  I woke up early, around 4:30ish to get my blog story typed and online.  When my hubby got up, during his coffee time I kept telling him how I was still very upset over not praying with the senior in ICU, and my always supportive mate said, "Well, we need to go to town and get our driver’s licenses renewed!  We could run to the hospital to see if she is still there!"

     I knew the chances of her still being there three days later were slim.  And, I would need to go in uniform, check my old patient list from last Monday, get her name, go to the front desk and ask if she was still there, and then go down to ICU and pray with her, if she wanted me too.

     "Let’s go!" my man said.  Quickly I showered and talked to God, "Lord, please give me one more chance to pray with her if she is still there, amen."  All of a sudden, in the shower, a totally peaceful feeling swept over me, unlike the pleasant warm shower I usually enjoy.  It was accompanied by a knowing that He was in charge and that if this was to happen, He would take care of all of it.  I almost felt a little cocky like, "So there satan, shame on you!"

     We arrived at 9:15AM, perfect time to get my paperwork and then I went to the front desk to find out if she was still in the hospital.  Imagine my shock when I discovered her in her original room!  I  actually thought I would be headed back to my car by now.  I went straight to ICU and asked the nurse, "Is Mrs. … still here?  I visited with her last Monday."

     "Yes, she’s here," I was told and I went right to her room and closed the door for privacy.

     "Mrs. …, good morning!  Do you remember me hon?  I was here with magazines last Monday morning and we talked."

     "Yes, I do!" she smiled.

     "Well, you said something to me that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about for the last few days."  She stared at me intently.  "You said, I guess I’m getting old, and maybe it’s my time to die and I’m either going to heaven or hell!"  And I said to you, "You don’t know where you are going?"

     "No, I don’t!" you said.  "Well Mrs. …, I should have prayed with you last Monday, to make sure you know where you are going!  I’m sorry I didn’t!  Would you like to pray with me now?"

     And, this charming lady softly spoke, "Yes, I would!"  So, I held her hand and we prayed together for Jesus to forgive her of all her sins, and come into her heart forever.  It was so special, it felt like she and I were surrounded by warm, peaceful angels.  Her soft hand in mine was reassuring, as I realized my job was done.  I finally did what I was supposed to do.

     I’m not sure if this sweet little lady was already saved, or if she was disoriented, or if she was just contemplating her death, but I  do know that she felt better when we prayed and so did I.  She was in a lot of pain, but didn’t want more pain meds because she wanted to be alert and not sleeping.

     I left soon after that, knowing she was fatigued and needed to rest.  I told her I loved her and said good bye.  I literally floated through the hallways of the hospital feeling pleased with doing what I believed God expected of me.

     What a glorious end to my fretting for three days.  I thought I was going to float out to the parking lot, but God had different plans for me.  He wasn’t finished with me yet…

     Part 2- next Wednesday


      John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  (NIV) 


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