I happened upon the following prayer last night, written six years ago.  I don’t know if you journal, but the process from composition to recall years later brings me great joy and amazement.  It reveals things I forgot God deposited in me, and reminds me at certain times in my life, how He has kept me through all the fiery trials.  I feel to share this intimate prayer.  Like King David, Solomon, and the other psalmists penned their raw, inspired writings; I too humbly follow in their footsteps, in awe of our Creator’s love for us.

“Oh God, I am drawing closer to You.  Your presence surpasses any grief endured through these fiery trials here on earth.  They are nothing if I can have You!  Lead me to the gate of glory; I want to follow you.  I know it could cost my very life.  For You, I will lose it now to save it later.  I desire that blessedness of spirit you offer God, through sorrow, for a moment with You.

I surrender God; every day, every day.  If I can surrender more, show me how.  I determine to be courageous in light of what you may ask.  Your apostles, prophets, and disciples are my examples.  I have done all I know to be obedient till now.  If I have missed something God, please give me another chance. You created me.  I feel so slow in learning your ways at times.  Teach me your commandments God.  I delight in pleasing You!  I don’t have time for mistakes anymore.  Please don’t let me make them.  Cause my tongue to stick to the roof of my mouth if I am not glorifying You, oh God. Bind my hands and feet if they are not serving You!

Thank you Father for it is your delight to give me the Kingdom.  It is so wide and so deep.  Teach me how to live and operate in it, and through it.  I am holding on to your hand, as a child taking their first steps.  They are all precious, scary, but rewarding at the same time.  My heart longs to be with You.  My chest throbs with pain at times.  May I have a moment with You?  Some speak of their visitations to Heaven.  You are no respecter of persons.  I don’t even know what I would say, but your presence is what I long for; to be near you Lord Jesus; as Mary was, and sat at your feet.  I know that would be enough.

You are a magnificent God; omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent.  Nothing is too little or too big for You.  I love writing to You…thank you for listening and understanding; because human words are not enough.”

Your Handmaiden

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